CHAPTER TWENTY

Mishaps

    DURING THE YEARS of the Red-Ship raids, the Six Duchies suffered significantly from their atrocities. The folk of the Six Duchies at that time learned a greater hatred of the Outislanders than ever they had felt before.

    In their grandfathers' and fathers' times, Outislanders had been both traders and pirates. Raids were carried out by solitary ships. We had not had a raiding "war" such as this since the days of King Wisdom. Although pirate attacks were not rare occurrences, they were still far more infrequent than the Outisland ships that came to our shores to trade. The blood ties among the noble families to Outisland kin were openly acknowledged, and many a family owned to a "cousin" in the Outislands.

    But after the savage raiding that preceded Forge, and the atrocities at Forge, all friendly talk of the Outislands ceased. Their ships had always been more wont to visit our shores than our traders to seek out their ice plagued harbors and swift-tided channels. Now trade ceased entirely. Thus our folk knew nothing of their Outisland kin during the days when we suffered the Red-Ships. "Outislander" became synonymous with "Raider, " and in our minds, all Outisland vessels had red hulls.

    But one, Chade Fallstar, a personal adviser to King Shrewd, took it upon himself to travel to the Outislands in those perilous days. From his journals we have this:

    Kebal Rawbread was not even a name known in the Six Duchies. It was a name not breathed in the Outislands. The independent folk of the scattered and isolated villages of the Outislands had never owed allegiance to any one King. Nor was Kebal Rawbread thought of as a King there. Rather he was a malevolent force, like a freezing wind that so coats a ship's rigging with ice that in a hour she turns belly-up on the sea.

    The few folk I encountered that did not fear to talk said Kebal had founded his power by subduing the individual pirates and raiding ships to his control. With those in hand, he turned his efforts to "recruiting" the best navigators, the most capable captains, and the most skillful fighters the scattered villages had to offer. Those who refused his offers saw their families escralled, or Forged, as we have come to call it. Then they were left alive to cope with the shattered remnants of their lives. Most were forced to put family members to death with their own hands; Outislander customs are strict regarding a householder's duty to maintain order amongst family members. As word of these incidents spread, fewer resisted the offers of Kebal Rawbread. Some few fled: their extended families still paid the price of escral. Others chose suicide, but again, the families were not spared. Such examples left few daring to defy Rawbread or his ships.

    Even to speak against him invited escral. Sparse as was the knowledge I gained on this visit, it was gained with great difficulty. Rumors I gathered as well, though they were as sparse as black lambs in a white flock. I list them here. A "white ship " is spoken of, a ship that comes to separate souls. Not to take them, or destroy them: to separate them. They whisper, too, of a pale woman whom even Kebal Rawbread fears and reveres. Many related the torments of their land to the unprecedented advances of the "ice whales" or glaciers. Always present in the upper reaches of their narrow valleys, they now advanced more swiftly than in the memory of any living man. They were rapidly covering what little arable soil the Outislands possessed and, in a way no one could or would explain to me, bringing a "change of water. "

    I went to see the King that evening. It was not without trepidation on my part. He would not have forgotten our last talk about Celerity, any more than I had. I reminded myself firmly that this visit was not for my personal reasons but for Kettricken and Verity. Then I knocked and Wallace grudgingly admitted me. The King was sitting up in his chair by the hearth. The Fool was at his feet, staring pensively into the fire. King Shrewd looked up as I entered. I presented myself and he greeted me warmly, then bade me be seated and tell him how my day had gone. At this, I shot the Fool a brief puzzled glance. He returned me a bitter smile. I took a stool opposite the Fool and waited.

    King Shrewd looked down on me benignly. "Well, lad? Did you have a good day? Tell me about it."

    "I have had a ... worrisome day, my king."

    "Have you, now? Well, have a cup of tea. It does wonders to soothe the nerves. Fool, pour my boy a cup of tea."

    "Willingly, my king. I do so at your command even more willingly than I do it for yourself." With a surprising alacrity, the Fool leaped to his feet. There was a fat clay pot of tea warming in the embers at the edges of the fire. From this the Fool poured me a mug and then handed it to me, with the wish, "Drink as deeply as our king does, and you shall share his serenity."

    I took the mug from his hand and lifted it to my lips. I inhaled the vapors, then let the liquid lap lightly against my tongue. It smelled warm and spicy, and tingled pleasantly against my tongue. I did not drink, but lowered the cup with a smile. "A pleasant brew, but is not merrybud addictive?" I asked the King directly.

    He smiled down on me. "Not in such a small quantity. Wallace has assured me it is good for my nerves, and for my appetite as well."

    "Yes, it does wonders for the appetite," the Fool chimed in. "For the more you have, the more you shall want. Drink yours quickly, Fitz, for no doubt you will have company soon. The more you drink, the less you shall have to share." With a gesture like a petal unfurling, the Fool waved toward the door at the precise instant that it opened to admit Regal.

    "Ah, more visitors." King Shrewd chuckled pleasantly. "This shall be a merry evening indeed. Sit down, my boy, sit down. The Fitz was just telling us he'd had a vexatious day. So I offered him a mug of my tea to soothe him."

    "No doubt it will do him well," Regal agreed pleasantly. He turned his smile on me. "A vexatious day, Fitz?"

    "A troubling one. First, there was the small matter down at the stables. One of Duke Ram's men was down there, claiming that the Duke had purchased four horses. One of them Cliff, the stud horse we use for the cart mares. I persuaded him there must be some mistake, for the papers were not signed by the King."

    "Oh, those!" The King chuckled again. "Regal had to bring them back to me; I'd forgotten to sign them at all. But it is all taken care of now, and I am sure the horses will be on their way to Tilth by the morrow. Good horses, too, Duke Ram will find them. He made a wise bargain."

    "I had never thought to see us sell our best stock away from Buckkeep." I spoke quietly, looking to Regal.

    "And neither did I. But with the treasury as depleted as it is, we have had to take hard measures." He regarded me coolly a moment. "Sheep and cattle are to be sold as well. We have not the grain to winter them over anyway. Better to sell them now than to see them starve this winter."

    I was outraged. "Why have not we heard of these shortages before? I have heard nothing of a failed harvest. Times are hard, it is true, but-"

    "You have heard nothing because you have not been listening. While you and my brother have immersed yourselves in the glories of war, I have been dealing with the purse to pay for it. And it is well nigh empty. Tomorrow, I will have to tell the men working on the new ships that they must either labor for the love of it or leave off their work. There is no longer coin to pay them, nor to buy the materials that would be needed to finish the ships." He finished his speech and leaned back, considering me.

    Within me, Verity roiled. I looked to King Shrewd. "This is true, my king?" I asked.

    King Shrewd started. He looked over at me and blinked his eyes a few times. "I did sign those papers, did I not?" He seemed puzzled, and I think his mind had gone back to a previous conversation. He had not followed our talk at all. At his feet, the Fool was strangely silent. "I thought I had signed the papers. Well, bring them to me now, then. Let us get this done, and then get on with a pleasant evening."

    "What is to be done about the situation in Beams? Is it true that the Raiders have taken parts of the Near Islands?"

    "The situation in Beams," he said. He paused, considering. He took another sip of his tea.

    "Nothing can be done about the situation in Beams," Regal said sadly. Smoothly he added, "It is time Beams took care of Beams's troubles. We cannot beggar all Six Duchies to protect a barren stretch of coastline. So the Raiders have helped themselves to a few frozen rocks. I wish them joy of them. We have folk of our own to care for, villages of our own to rebuild."

    I waited in vain for Shrewd to rouse, to say something in defense of Beams. When he was silent, I asked quietly, "The town of Ferry is scarcely a frozen rock. At least, it wasn't until the Red-Ships called. And when did Beams cease to be part of the Six Duchies?" I looked to Shrewd, tried to make him meet my eyes. "My king, I beg you, order Serene to come. Have her Skill to Verity, that you may counsel together about this."

    Regal grew suddenly weary of our cat and mouse. "When did the dog boy come to be so concerned with politics?" he asked me savagely. "Why cannot you understand that the King can make decisions without the permission of the King-in-Waiting? Do you quiz your king on his decisions, Fitz? Have you so far forgotten your place? I knew Verity had made something of a pet of you, and perhaps your adventures with your ax have given you large ideas of yourself. But Prince Verity has seen fit to go gallivanting off after a chimera, and I am left to keep the Six Duchies rattling along as best I may."

    "I was present when you endorsed King-in-Waiting Verity's proposal to seek the Elderlings," I pointed out. King Shrewd seemed to have gone off into another waking dream. He stared into the fire.

    "And why that was so, I have no idea," Regal rejoined smoothly. "As I observed, you have come to have large ideas of yourself. You eat at the high table, and are clothed by the King's largesse, and somehow you have come to believe this gives you privileges rather than duties. Let me tell you who you really are, Fitz." Regal paused. To me it seemed he looked at the King, as if gauging how safe it was for him to speak.

    "You," he continued in a lowered voice, tone as sweet as a minstrel's. "You are the misbegotten bastard of a princeling who had not even the courage to continue as King-in-Waiting. You are the grandson of a dead Queen whose common breeding showed in the common woman her eldest son bedded to conceive you. You who take the name to yourself of FitzChivalry Farseer need do no more than scratch yourself to find Nameless the dog boy. Be grateful I do not send you back to the stables, but suffer to let you abide in the Keep."

    I do not know what I felt. Nighteyes was snarling to the venom in Regal's words, while Verity was capable of fratricide at that moment. I glanced at King Shrewd. He cupped his mug of sweet tea in both hands and dreamed into the fire. From the corner of my eyes, I had a glimpse of the Fool. There was fear in his colorless eyes, fear as I had never seen there before. And he was looking, not at Regal, but at me.

    I abruptly realized that I had arisen and was standing over Regal. He was looking up at me. Waiting. There was a glint of fear in his eyes, but also the shine of triumph. All I would have to do was strike at him, and he could call the guards. It would be treason. He would hang me for it. I felt how the fabric of my shirt was binding on my shoulders and chest, so swollen with rage was I. I tried to exhale, willed the balled fists of my hands to loosen. It took a moment. Hush, I told them. Hush, or you'll get me killed. When I had my voice under control, I spoke.

    "Many things have been made clear to me this night," I said quietly. I turned to King Shrewd. "My lord king, I bid you good evening, and ask to be excused from your presence."

    "Eh? So you ... had an anxious day, lad?"

    "I did, my lord king," I said softly. His deep eyes looked up into mine as I stood before him, waiting to be released. I looked deep into their depths. He was not there. Not as he once had been. He looked at me puzzledly, blinked a few times.

    "Well. Perhaps you had best get some rest, then. As should I. Fool? Fool, is my bed prepared? Warm it with the warming pan. I grow so cold at night these days. Ha! At night these days! There's a bit of nonsense for you, Fool. How would you say it, to get it aright?"

    The Fool sprang to his feet, bowed deeply before the King. "I would say there's the chill of death about the days these nights as well, Your Majesty. A cold fair to curl the bones, it is. A man could take his death of it. It would warm me more to hide in your shade than to stand before your sun's heat."

    King Shrewd chuckled. "You don't make a bit of sense, Fool. But then you never did. Good night to all, and off to bed, lads, both of you. Good night, good night."

    I slipped out while Regal was saying a more formal good night to his father. It was all I could do to walk past Wallace's simpering smile without smashing it from his face. Once in the hall outside, I swiftly sought my own room. I would take the Fool's advice, I thought, and hide myself in Chade rather than stand before the heat of the King's son.

    I spent the rest of that evening in my room alone. I knew that as night deepened, Molly would wonder when I did not come tapping at her door. But I had no heart for it tonight. I could not summon the energy to slip out of my room and go creeping up the stairs and slinking down the corridors, always worrying that someone might step out abruptly and find me where I had no right to be. At one time I would have sought out Molly's warmth and affection and found a measure of peace there. That was no longer the case. Now I dreaded the stealth and anxiety of our meetings, and a guardedness that did not even end when her door closed behind me. For Verity rode within me, and ever I must guard that what I felt and thought with Molly did not spill over into the link I shared with Verity.

    I gave up on the scroll I had been trying to read. What use now to learn of Elderlings, anyway? Verity would find whatever Verity found. I flung myself back on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. Even still and silent, there was no peace in me.

    My link to Verity was like a hook in my flesh; so must a snagged fish feel when it fights the line. My ties to Nighteyes were on a deeper, more subtle level, but ever he was there as well, green eyes lambent in a dark corner of myself. These parts of me never slept, never rested, were never quiescent at all. And that constant strain was beginning to tell on me.

    Hours later the candles were guttering and the fire burned low. A change in the air of my room let me know that Chade had opened his soundless door to me. I arose and went to him. But with every step I took up that drafty staircase, my anger grew. It was not the kind of anger that led to ranting and blows between men. This was an anger born as much from weariness and frustration as from any hurt. This was the sort of anger that led a man to stop everything, to say simply, "I cannot bear this anymore."

    "Cannot bear what?" Chade asked me. He looked up from where he hunched over some concoction he was grinding on his stained stone table. There was genuine concern in his voice. It made me really stop and look at the man I addressed. A tall, skinny old assassin. Pox-scarred. Hair gone almost entirely white now. Wearing the familiar gray wool robe, always with stains or the tiny burns he inflicted on his clothes while he worked. I wondered how many men he had killed for his king, killed simply at a word or nod from Shrewd. Killed without question, true to his oath. For all those deaths, he was a gentle man. Suddenly I had a question, a question more pressing than answering his question.

    "Chade," I asked, "have you ever killed a man for your own sake?"

    He looked startled. "For my own sake?"

    "Yes.

    "To protect my own life?"

    "Yes. I don't mean when on the King's business. I mean killed a man to ... make your life simpler."

    He snorted. "Of course not." He looked at me strangely.

    "Why not?" I pressed.

    He looked incredulous. "One simply does not go about killing people for convenience. It's wrong. It's called murder, boy."

    "Unless you do it for your king."

    "Unless you do it for your king," he agreed easily.

    "Chade. What's the difference? If you do it for yourself, or if you do it for Shrewd?"

    He sighed and gave up on the mixture he was making. He moved around the end of the table, sat on a tall stool there. "I remember asking these questions. But of myself, as my mentor was gone by the time I was your age." He met my eyes firmly. "It comes down to faith, boy. Do you believe in your king? And your king has to be more to you than your half brother, or your grandfather. He has to be more than good old Shrewd, or fine honest Verity. He has to be the King. The heart of the kingdom, the center of the wheel. If he is that, and if you have faith that the Six Duchies are worth preserving, that the good of all our people are furthered by dispensing the King's justice, then, well."

    "Then you can kill for him."

    "Exactly."

    "Have you ever killed against your own judgment?"

    "You have many questions this night," he warned me quietly.

    "Perhaps you have left me alone too long to think of them all. When we met near nightly, and talked often and I was busy all the time, I did not think so much. But now I do."

    He nodded slowly. "Thinking is not always ... comforting. It is always good, but not always comforting. Yes. I've killed against my own judgment. Again, it came down to faith. I had to believe that the folk who gave the order knew more than I did, and were wiser in the ways of the wider world."

    I was silent for a long moment. Chade started to relax. "Come in. Don't stand there in the draft. Let's have a glass of wine together, and then I need to talk to you about-"

    "Have you ever killed solely on the basis of your own judgment? For the good of the kingdom?"

    For a time Chade looked at me, troubled. I did not look away. He did, finally, staring down at his old hands, rubbing their papery-white skin against each other as he fingered the brilliant red pocks. "I do not make those judgments." He looked up at me suddenly. "I never accepted that burden, nor wished to. It is not our place, boy. Those decisions are for the King."

    "I am not `boy,'," I pointed out, surprising myself. "I am FitzChivalry. "

    "With an emphasis on the Fitz," Chade pointed out harshly. "You are the illegitimate get of a man who did not step up to become king. He abdicated. And in that abdication, he set aside from himself the making of judgments. You are not king, Fitz, nor even the son of a true King. We are assassins."

    "Why do we stand by while the true King is poisoned?" I asked bluntly then. "I see it, you see it. He is lured into using herbs that steal his mind and, while he cannot think well, lured to use ones that make him even more foolish. We know its immediate source, and I suspect its true source. And yet we watch him dwindle and grow feeble. Why? Where is the faith in that?"

    His words cut me like knives. "I do not know where your faith is. I had thought perhaps it would be in me. That I knew more about it than you did, and that I was loyal to my king."

    It was my turn to drop my eyes. After a moment I crossed the room slowly, to the cabinet where Chade kept the wine and the glasses. I took down a tray and poured two careful glasses from the glass-stoppered bottle. I took the tray to the small table by the hearth. As I had for so many years, I seated myself on the hearthstones. After a moment my master came and took his place in his well-cushioned chair. He lifted his wineglass from the tray and sipped.

    "This last year has not been an easy time for either of us."

    "You have so seldom called me. And when you do, you are full of secrets." I tried to keep the accusation from my voice, but couldn't quite.

    Chade gave a short bark of laughter. "And you being such an open spontaneous fellow, that annoys you?" He laughed again, ignoring my offended look. When he had done, he wet his mouth with wine again, then looked at me. Amusement still danced in his dark eyes.

    "Do not glower at me, boy," he told me. "I have not expected anything from you that you have not demanded from me twofold. And more. For I have it in my mind that a master has some right to expect faith and trust from his student."

    "You do," I said after some moments. "And you are right. I have my secrets as well, and I have expected you to trust that they are honorable ones. But my secrets do not constrain you as yours do mine. Every time I visit the King's chambers, I see what Wallace's Smokes and potions are doing to him. I want to kill Wallace, and restore my king to his wits. And after that, I want to ... finish the task. I want to eliminate the source of the poisons."

    "You wish to kill me, then?"

    It was like being doused with cold water. "You are the source of the poisons Wallace gives to the King?" I was sure I had misunderstood.

    He nodded slowly. "Some of them. Probably the ones you most object to."

    My heart was cold and still inside me. "But, Chade, why?"

    He looked at me, his lips folded tight. After a moment he opened his mouth and spoke softly. "A King's secrets belong to a King only. They are not mine to give away, no matter if I think the receiver would keep them safe or not. But if you would only use your mind as I have trained you, you would know my secrets. For I have not hidden them from you. And from my secret, you could deduce much on your own."

    I turned to poke at the fire behind me. "Chade. I am so weary. Too weary to play at games. Cannot you simply tell me?"

    "Of course I could. But it would compromise my promise to my king. What I do is bad enough."

    "You are splitting hairs over this!" I exclaimed angrily.

    "Perhaps, but they are mine to split," he replied with equanimity.

    His very calmness infuriated me. I shook my head violently, put the whole puzzle away from myself for a bit. "Why did you summon me tonight?" I asked flatly.

    There was a shadow of hurt behind the calm in his eyes now. "Perhaps just to see you. Perhaps to forestall your doing something foolish and permanent. I know that much of what is going on right now distresses you greatly. I assure you, I share your fears. But for now, we must continue on our allotted paths. With faith. Surely you believe that Verity will return before spring, and put all to rights."

    "I don't know," I admitted grudgingly. "It shocked me when he set off on this ridiculous quest. He should have stayed here and continued with his original plan. By the time he returns, half his kingdom will be beggared or given away, the way Regal is going at things."

    Chade looked at me levelly. " `His' kingdom is still King Shrewd's kingdom. Remember? Perhaps he has faith in his father to keep it intact."

    "I do not think King Shrewd can even keep himself intact, Chade. Have you seen him of late?"

    Chade's mouth went to a flat line. "Yes." He bit the word off: "I see him when no one else does. I tell you that he is not the feeble idiot you seem to believe he is."

    I shook my head slowly. "If you had seen him tonight, Chade, you would share my anxiety."

    "What makes you so sure I did not?" Chade was nettled now. I had no wish to anger the old man. But it seemed to be going all wrong, no matter how I spoke. I forced myself to keep silent now. Instead of speaking, I took another sip of my wine. I stared into the fire.

    "Are the rumors about the Near Islands true?" I asked at last. My voice was my own again.

    Chade sighed and rubbed at his eyes with his knuckly hands. "As in all rumors, there is a germ of truth. It may be true that the Raiders have established a base there. We are not certain. We have certainly not ceded the Near Islands to them. As you observed, once they had the Near Islands, they would raid our coast winter and summer."

    "Prince Regal seemed to believe that they could be bought off: That perhaps those islands and a bit of Beams's coast were what they were truly after." It was an effort, but I kept my voice respectful as I spoke of Regal.

    "Many men hope that by saying a thing they can make it so," Chade said neutrally. "Even when they must know better," he added as a darker afterthought.

    "What do you think the Raiders want?" I asked.

    He stared past me into the fire. "Now, there is a puzzle. What do the Raiders want? It is how our minds work, Fitz. We think they attack us because they want something from us. But surely, if they wanted something, by now they would have demanded it. They know the damage they do to us. They must know that we would at least consider their demands. But they ask for nothing. They simply go on raiding."

    "They make no sense." I finished the thought for him.'

    "Not the way we see sense," he corrected me. "But what if our basic assumption is wrong?"

    I just stared at him.

    "What if they don't want anything, except what they already have? A nation of victims. Towns to raid, villages to torch, people to torture. What if that is their entire aim?"

    "That's insane," I said slowly.

    "Perhaps. But what if it is so?"

    "Then nothing will stop them. Except destroying them."

    He nodded slowly. "Follow that thought."

    "We don't have enough ships to even slow them down." I considered a moment. "We had best all hope the myths about the Elderlings are true. Because it seems to me they, or something like them, is our only hope."

    Chade nodded slowly. "Exactly. So you see why I approve of Verity's course."

    "Because it's our only hope of survival."

    We sat for a long time together, staring into the fire silently. When I finally returned to my bed that night, I was assailed by nightmares of Verity attacked and battling for his life while I stood by and watched. I could not kill any of his attackers, for my king had not said I could.

    Twelve days later, Duke Brawndy of Beams arrived. He came down the coast road, at the head of enough men to be impressive without being an open threat. He had mustered as much pomp and panoply as his dukedom could afford. His daughters rode at his side, save for the eldest, who had remained behind to do all that could be done for Ferry. I spent most of the early afternoon in the stables, and then in the guardroom, listening to the talk of the lesser members of his entourage. Hands acquitted himself well at seeing that there was space and care for their beasts, and as always, our kitchens and barracks made themselves hospitable places. Still, there was plenty of hard talk among the folk from Beams. They spoke bluntly of what they had seen at Ferry, and how their summons for help had gone unheeded. It shamed our soldiers that there was little they could say to defend what King Shrewd had apparently done. And when a soldier cannot defend what his leader has done, he must either agree with the criticism or find another area in which to disagree. So there were fistfights between Beams men and Buckkeep troops, isolated incidents for the most part, and over trivial differences. But such things did not usually happen under the discipline at Buckkeep, and so they were all the more unsettling. It underscored to me the confusion among our own troops.

    I dressed carefully for dinner that evening, unsure as to who I might encounter or what might be expected of me. I had glimpsed Celerity twice that day, and each time slipped away before I could be noticed. I expected she would be my dinner partner, and dreaded it. Now was no time to give anyone from Beams any sort of affront, but I did not wish to encourage her. I could have saved my worrying. I found myself seated far down the table, among the lesser nobility, and the younger ones at that. I spent an uncomfortable evening as a minor novelty. Several of the girls at the table attempted to be flirtatious. This was a new experience for me and not one I relished. It made me realize just how great an influx of folk had swollen the Buckkeep court that winter. Most of them were from the Inland Duchies, sniffing after scraps from Regal's plate, but as these young women plainly indicated, they would be happy to court political influence wherever they could. The effort to follow their attempts at witty banter and respond on a level of at least moderate politeness made it nearly impossible for me to give any attention to what was going on at the High Table. King Shrewd was there, seated between Queen-in-Waiting Kettricken and Prince Regal. Duke Brawndy and his daughters Celerity and Faith were seated closest to them. The rest of the table was filled with Regal's pets. Duke Ram of Tilth and his Lady Placid, and their two sons were the most noteworthy. Regal's cousin Lord Bright was there as well; the young heir to the Duke of Farrow was new to court.

    From where I sat, I could see little, and hear even less. I felt Verity's churning frustration at the situation, but there was nothing I could do about it. The King looked more weary than dazed that evening, which I took to be positive. Kettricken, seated beside him, was near colorless save for two spots of pink on her cheeks. She did not seem to be eating much, and seemed graver and more silent than usual. Prince Regal, in contrast, was both social and merry. With Duke Ram and Lady Placid and their boys. He did not quite ignore Brawndy and his daughters, but his merriment clearly grated on the visitors' mood.

    Duke Brawndy was a large man, and well muscled even in his old age. Shocks of white hair in his black warrior's tail attested to old battle injuries, as did a hand missing a few fingers. His daughters sat just downtable from him, indigo-eyed women whose high cheekbones told of his late queen's Near Island ancestry. Faith and Celerity wore their hair cut short and sleek in the northern style. The quick ways they turned their heads to observe everyone at the table reminded me of hawks on a wrist. These were not the gentled nobility of the Inland Duchies that Regal was used to dealing with. Of all the Six Duchies, the folk of Bearns came closest to being warriors still.

    Regal was courting disaster to make light of their grievances. I knew they would not expect to discuss Raiders at the table, but his festive tone was completely at odds with their mission here. I wondered if he knew how badly he offended them. Kettricken obviously did. More than once I saw her clench her jaw, or cast her eyes downward at one of Regal's witticisms. He was drinking too heavily as well, and it began to show in his extravagant hand gestures, and the loudness of his laughter. I wished desperately I could hear what he was finding so humorous in his own words. ,

    Dinner seemed interminable. Celerity rapidly located me at table. After that, I was hard put to avoid the measuring looks she sent my way. I nodded affably to her the first time our eyes locked; I could tell she was puzzled by where I had been seated. I dared not ignore every look she sent my way. Regal was offensive enough without my appearing to snub Beams's daughter as well. I felt I teetered on a fence. I was grateful when King Shrewd rose and Queen Kettricken insisted on taking his arm to help him from the room. Regal frowned a trifle drunkenly to see the party disperse so soon, but made no effort to persuade Duke Brawndy and his daughters to stay at table. They excused themselves rather stiffly as soon as Shrewd had departed. I likewise made excuse of a headache and left my giggling companions for the solitude of my room. As I opened my door and went into my bedchamber, I felt myself the most powerless person in the Keep. Nameless the dog boy indeed.

    "I see dinner was absolutely fascinating for you," the Fool observed. I sighed. I didn't ask how he had gotten in. No point to asking questions that would not be answered. He was sitting on my hearth, silhouetted against the dancing flames of a small fire he had kindled there. There was a peculiar stillness to him, no jingling of bells, no tumbling mocking words.

    "Dinner was insufferable," I told him. I did not bother with candles. My headache had not been entirely a fiction. I sat, then lay back on my bed with a sigh. "I do not know what Buckkeep is coming to, nor what I can do about it."

    "Perhaps what you have already done is enough?" the Fool ventured.

    "I've done nothing noteworthy lately," I informed him. "Unless you count knowing when to stop talking back to Regal."

    "Ah. That's a skill we're all learning, then," he agreed morosely. He drew his knees up to his chin, rested his arms atop them. He took a breath. "Have you no news, then, that you'd care to share with a Fool? A very discreet Fool?"

    "I've no news to share with you that you would not already know, and probably sooner than I did." The darkness of the room was restful. My headache was easing.

    "Ah." He paused delicately. "Shall I, perhaps, ask a question? To be answered or not as you see fit?"

    "Save your breath and ask it. You know you shall, whether I give you permission or no."

    "Indeed, there you are right. Well then. The question. Ah, I surprise myself, I blush, I do. FitzChivalry, have you made a fitz of your own?"

    I sat up slowly on my bed and stared at him. He did not move nor flinch. "What did you ask me?" I demanded quietly.

    He spoke softly, almost apologetically now. "I must know. Is Molly carrying your child?"

    I sprang at him from the bed, caught him by the throat, and dragged him up to his feet. I drew back my fist, and then stopped, shocked by what the firelight revealed on his face.

    "Batter away," he suggested quietly. "New bruises will not show much atop the old ones. I can creep about unseen for a few more days."

    I snatched my hand back from him. Strange, how the act I had been about to commit now seemed so monstrous when I discovered someone else had already done it. As soon as I released him, he turned away from me, as if his discolored and swollen face shamed him. Perhaps the pallor of his skin and his delicate bone structure made it all the more horrifying to me. It was as if someone had done this to a child. I knelt by the fire and began to build it up.

    "Didn't get a good enough look?" the Fool asked acidly. "I'll warn you, it gets no better by giving more light to it."

    "Sit on my clothes chest and take your shirt off," I told him brusquely. He didn't move. I ignored that. I had a small kettle for tea water. This I set to heat. I lit a branch of candles and set them atop the table, and then took out my small store of herbs. I did not keep that many in my room; I wished now I had Burrich's full store to draw on, but I was sure that if I left to go to the stables, the Fool would be gone when I returned. Still, those I kept in my room were mostly for bruises and cuts and the types of injuries my other profession exposed me to most often. They would do.

    When the water was warm, I poured some into my washbasin and added a generous handful of herbs, crushing them as I did so. I found an outgrown shirt in my clothing chest and tore it into rags. "Come into the light." This I phrased as a request. After a moment he did so, but moving hesitantly and shyly. I looked at him briefly, then took him by the shoulders and sat him down atop my clothing chest. "What happened to you?" I asked, awed by the damage to his face. His lips were cut and swollen, and one eye swollen near closed.

    "I've been going about Buckkeep, asking bad-tempered individuals if they've fathered bastards lately." His one good eye met my glare straight on. Red webbed the white of it. I found I could neither be angry with him, nor laugh.

    "You should know enough medicine to take better care of something like this. Sit still now." I made the rag into a compress, held it gently but firmly to his face. After a moment he relaxed. I sponged away some dried blood. There wasn't much; he had obviously cleaned himself up after this beating, but some of the cuts had continued to ooze blood. I ran my fingers lightly down the lines of his jaw, and around his eye sockets. At least no bone seemed damaged. "Who did this to you?" I asked him.

    "I walked into a series of doors. Or the same one several times. It depends on which door you ask." He spoke glibly for someone with mashed lips.

    "That was a serious question," I told him.

    "As was mine."

    I glared at him again and he dropped his eyes. For a moment neither of us spoke as I searched out a pot of salve Burrich had given me for cuts and scrapes. "I'd really like to know the answer," I reminded him as I took the lid off the pot. The familiar biting scent rose to my nostrils, and I suddenly missed Burrich with an amazing intensity.

    "As would I." He flinched slightly under my touch as I applied the salve. I knew it stung. I also knew it worked.

    "Why do you ask such a question of me?" I finally demanded.

    He considered a moment. "Because it is easier to ask of you than to ask Kettricken if she carries Verity's child. As far as I can determine, Regal has shared his favors only with himself of late, so that dismisses him. You or Verity, then, must be the father."

    I looked at him blankly. He shook his head sadly for me. "Cannot you feel it?" he asked in a near whisper. He stared off in the distance dramatically. "Forces shift. Shadows flutter. Suddenly there is a rippling in the possibilities. A reordering of the futures, as destinies multiply. All paths diverge, and diverge again." He looked back to me. I smiled at him, thinking he jested, but his mouth was sober. "There is an heir to the Farseer line," he said quietly. "I am certain of it."

    Have you ever missed a step in the dark? There is that sudden feeling of teetering on the edge, and no knowledge of how far you may fall. I said, far too firmly, "I have fathered no child."

    The Fool regarded me with a skeptical eye. "Ah," he said with false heartiness. "Of course not. Then it, must be Kettricken who is carrying."

    "It must," I agreed, but my heart sank. If Kettricken were pregnant, she would have no reason to conceal it. Whereas Molly would. And I had not been to see Molly in several nights. Perhaps she had news for me. I felt suddenly dizzied, but I forced myself to take a long calming breath. "Take your shirt off," I told the Fool. "Let's see your chest."

    "I've seen it, thank you, and I assure you it's fine. When they popped the bag over my head, I presume it was to provide a target. They were most conscientious about striking nowhere else."

    The brutality of what they had done to him sickened me into silence. "Who?" I finally managed to ask.

    "With a bag over my head? Come now. Can you see through a bag?"

    "No. But you must have suspicions."

    He canted his head at me in disbelief. "If you do not know what those suspicions are already, then you are the one with your head in a bag. Let me cut a bit of a hole for you. `We know you are false to the King, that you spy for Verity the pretender. Send him no more messages, for if you do, we shall know of it.' " He turned to stare into the fire, swung his heels briefly, thunk, thunk, thunk, against my clothing chest.

    "Verity the pretender?" I asked in outrage.

    "Not my words. Theirs," he pointed out.

    I forced my anger down, tried to think. "Why would they suspect you spy for Verity? Have you sent him messages?"

    "I have a King," he said softly. "Although he does not always remember he is my king. You must look out for your king. As I am sure you do."

    "What will you do?"

    "What I have always done. What else can I do? I cannot stop doing what they command me to stop, for I have never begun it."

    A creeping certainty shivered up my spine. "And if they act again?"

    He gave a lifeless laugh. "There is no point to my worrying about it, for I cannot prevent it. That is not to say I look forward to it. This," he said, with a half gesture toward his face. "This will heal. What they did to my room will not. I shall be weeks picking up that mess."

    The words trivialized it. A terrible hollow feeling welled up in me. I had been in the Fool's tower chamber once. It had been a long climb up a disused staircase, past the dust and litter of years, to a chamber that looked out over the parapets and contained a garden of wonder. I thought of the bright fish swimming in the fat pots, the moss gardens in their containers, the tiny ceramic child, so meticulously cared for, in its cradle. I closed my eyes as he added to the flames, "They were most thorough. Silly me. To think there was such a thing as a safe place in the world."

    I could not look at him. Save for his tongue, he was a defenseless person whose only drive was to serve his king. And save the world. Yet someone had smashed his world. Worse, I suspected the beating he had taken was in revenge for something I had done.

    "I could help you set it to rights," I offered quietly.

    He shook his head tightly, quickly twice. "I think not," he said. Then he added in a more normal voice, "No offense intended."

    "None taken."

    I bundled the cleansing herbs with the pot of salve and the leftover rags from my shirt. He hopped off my clothes chest. When I offered them to him, he took them gravely. He walked to the door, stiffly despite his claims that they had only damaged his face. At the door he turned. "When you know for certain, you will tell me?" He paused significantly. His voice dropped. "After all, if this is what they do to a King's fool, what might they do to a woman carrying a King-in-Waiting's heir?"

    "They wouldn't dare," I said fiercely.

    He snorted disdain. "Wouldn't they? I no longer know what they would or would not dare, FitzChivalry. Neither do you. I'd find a sounder way to latch my door, if I were you. Unless you wish to find your head in a bag as well." He gave a smile that wasn't even a shadow of his usual mocking grin, and slipped out again. I walked to the door after he had left it, and dropped the bar into place. I leaned my back against it and sighed.

    "It's all very well for the rest of them, Verity," I said aloud to the silent room. "But for myself, I think you should turn yourself about right now and ride home. There's more afoot than Red-Ships, and somehow I misdoubt that Elderlings would be much help against the other threats we face."

    I waited, hoping to feel some sort of acknowledgment or agreement from him. There was nothing. My frustrations whirled in me. I was seldom certain of when Verity was aware with me, and never sure if he sensed the thoughts I wished to send him. I wondered again at why he did not direct Serene as to the actions he wished taken. He had Skilled to her all summer about Red-Ships; why was he so silent now? Had he Skilled to her already, and she concealed it? Or revealed it, perhaps, to Regal only. I considered it. Perhaps the bruises on the Fool's face reflected Regal's frustration at finding Verity aware of what was going on in his absence. Why he had chosen the Fool as the culprit was anyone's guess. Perhaps he had simply chosen him as a vent for his rage. The Fool had never avoided offending Regal. Or anyone else.

    Later that night, I went to Molly. It was a dangerous time to go, for the Keep was abuzz with extra folk and extra servants taking care of them. But my suspicions would not let me stay away. When I tapped on the door that night, Molly asked through the wood, "Who is it?"

    "It's me," I replied incredulously. She had never asked before.

    "Oh," she replied, and opened the door. I slipped inside and bolted it behind me as she crossed to the hearth. She knelt before it, adding wood it didn't need and not looking at me. She was dressed in her blue servant's dress, and her hair was still bundled up. Every line of her body warned me. I was in trouble again.

    "I'm sorry I haven't been here much lately."

    "So am I," Molly said shortly.

    She wasn't leaving me much in the way of openings. "A lot has been going on, and they've been keeping me pretty busy."

    "With what?"

    I sighed. I already knew where this conversation was going. "With things I can't talk to you about."

    "Of course." For all the calmness and coolness in her voice, I knew her fury was raging just beneath the surface. The slightest wrong word would set it off. So would not saying anything. So my question might as well be tackled head-on.

    "Molly, the reason I came tonight-"

    "Oh, I knew there had to be some special reason for you to finally drop by. The only thing that really surprises me is myself. Why am I here? Why do I come straight to my room after my duties each day and wait, on the off chance that you might show up? There are other things I could be doing. There are minstrels and puppet shows aplenty lately. Prince Regal sees to that. I could be at one of the lesser hearths with the other servants, enjoying their company. Instead of up here alone. Or I could be getting some work done. Cook lets me use the kitchen when it's not a busy time. I have wicking and herbs and tallow; I should be using them while the herbs still have their full potency. But no, I am up here, on the off chance that you'll remember me and want to spend a few moments with me.

    I stood like a rock in the battering waves of her words. There was nothing else I could do. Everything she said was true. I looked at my feet while she caught her breath. When she spoke again, the anger had faded from her voice, to be replaced with something worse. Misery and discouragement.

    "Fitz, it's just so hard. Every time I think I have accepted it, I turn a corner and catch myself hoping again. But there's never going to be anything for us, is there? Never going to be a time that belongs just to us, never going to be a place that is just ours." She paused. She looked down, biting on her lower lip. When she spoke, her voice trembled. "I've seen Celerity. She's beautiful. I even made an excuse to speak to her .... I asked if they needed more candles for their rooms .... She spoke back, shyly, but courteously. She even thanked me for being concerned, as few here thank servants. She's ... she's nice. A Lady. Oh, they'll never give you permission to marry me. Why would you want to marry a servant?"

    "You are not a servant to me," I said quietly. "I never think of you that way."

    "Then what am I? I am not a wife," she pointed out quietly.

    "In my heart, you are," I said miserably. It was a pitiful comfort to offer her. It shamed me that she accepted it, and came to rest her forehead on my shoulder. I held her gently for a few moments, then pulled her into a warmer embrace. As she nestled against me I said softly into her hair, "There's something I have to ask you."

    "What?"

    "Are you ... with child?"

    "What?" She pulled back from me, to look up into my face.

    "Are you carrying my child?"

    "I ... no. No, I'm not." A pause. "What makes you ask such a thing all of a sudden?"

    "It just occurred to me to wonder. That's all. I mean-"

    "I know what you mean. If we were married, and I weren't pregnant by now, the neighbors would be shaking their heads over us."

    "Really?" Such a thing had never occurred to me before. I knew that some folk wondered if Kettricken were barren, as she had not conceived in over a year of marriage, but a concern over her childlessness was a public issue. I had never thought of neighbors watching newlyweds expectantly.

    "Of course. By now, someone would have offered me a tea recipe from their mother's telling. Or powdered boar's tusk to slip into your ale at night."

    "Oh really?" I gathered her closer to me, grinning foolishly.

    "Um." She smiled back up at me. The smile faded slowly. "As it is," she said quietly, "there are other herbs I take. To be sure that I do not conceive."

    I had all but forgotten Patience scolding me that day. "Some herbs like that, I've heard, can make a woman ill, if she takes them for long."

    "I know what I'm doing," she said flatly. "Besides, what is the alternative?" she added with less heart.

    "Disaster," I conceded.

    She nodded her head against me. "Fitz. If I had said yes tonight. If I were pregnant ... what would you have done?"

    "I don't know. I haven't thought about it."

    "Think about it now," she begged me.

    I spoke slowly. "I suppose I'd ... get a place for you, somehow, somewhere." (I'd go to Chade, I'd go to Burrich, and I'd beg for help. Inwardly I blanched to think of it.) "A safe place. Away from Buckkeep. Upriver, maybe. I'd come to see you when I could. Somehow, I'd take care of you."

    "You'd set me aside is what you're saying. Me, and our ... my child."

    "No! I'd keep you safe, put you where no one would point shame at you or mock you for having a child alone. And when I could, I'd come to you and our child."

    "Have you ever considered that you could come with us? That we could leave Buckkeep, you and I, and go upriver now?"

    "I can't leave Buckkeep. I've explained that to you every way I know how."

    "I know you have. I've tried to understand it. But I don't see why."

    "The work I do for the King is such that-"

    "Stop doing it. Let someone else do it. Go away with me, to a life of our own."

    "I can't. It's not that simple. I wouldn't be allowed to just leave like that." Somehow, we had come uncoupled. Now she folded her arms across her chest.

    "Verity's gone. Almost no one believes he's coming back.

    King Shrewd grows more feeble each day, and Regal prepares himself to inherit. If half of Regal's feelings for you are what you say they are, why on earth would you wish to stay here with him as king? Why would he want to keep you here? Fitz, can't you see that it's all tumbling apart? The Near Islands and Ferry are just the beginning. The. Raiders won't stop there."

    "All the more reason for me to stay here. To work and, if need be, fight for our people."

    "One man can't stop them," Molly pointed out. "Not even a man as stubborn as you. Why not take all that stubbornness and fight for us instead? Why don't we run away, up the river and inland, away from the Raiders, to a life of our own? Why should we have to give up everything for a hopeless cause?"

    I couldn't believe what I was hearing from her. If I had said it, it would have been treason. But she said it as if it were the commonest sense. As if she and I and a child that didn't exist yet were more important than the King and the Six Duchies combined. I said as much.

    "Well," she asked me, looking at me levelly. "It's true. To me. If you were my husband and I had our child, that's how important it would be to me. More important than the whole rest of the world."

    And what was I to say to that? I reached for the truth, knowing it wouldn't satisfy her. "You would be that important to me. You are that important to me. But it's also why I have to stay here. Because something that important isn't something you run away and hide with. It's something that you stand and defend."

    "Defend?" Her voice went up a notch. "When will you learn we aren't strong enough to defend ourselves? I know. I've stood between Raiders and children of my own blood, and just barely survived. When you've done that, talk to me about defending! "

    I was silent. Not just that her words cut me. They did, and deeply. But she brought back to me a memory of holding a child, studying the blood that had trickled down her cooling. arm. I couldn't abide the thought of ever doing it again. But it could not be fled. "There is no running away, Molly. We either stand and fight here, or are slaughtered when the fighting overtakes us."

    "Really?" she asked me coldly. "It isn't just your putting your loyalty to a King ahead of what we have?" I could not meet her eyes. She snorted. "You're just like Burrich. You don't even know how much you're like him!"

    "Like Burrich?" I was left floundering. I was startled that she said it at all, let alone that she said it as if it were a fault.

    "Yes." She was decisive.

    "Because I am true to my king?" I was still grasping at straws.

    "No! Because you put your king before your woman ... or your love, or your own life."

    "I don't know what you're talking about!"

    "There! You see! You really don't. And you go about, acting like you know all these great things and secrets and every important thing that ever happened. So answer me this. Why does Patience hate Burrich?"

    I was completely at a loss now. I had no idea how this figured into what was wrong with me. But I knew somehow Molly would make a connection. Gingerly I tried: "She blames him for me. She thinks Burrich led Chivalry into bad ways ... and hence into conceiving me."

    "There. You see. That's how stupid you are. It's nothing of the kind. Lacey told me one night. A bit too much elderberry wine, and I was talking of you and she of Burrich and Patience. Patience loved Burrich first, you idiot. But he wouldn't have her. He said he loved her, but he couldn't marry her, even if her father would give consent for her to wed beneath her station. Because he was already sworn, life and sword, to a lord of his own. And he didn't think he could do justice to both of them. Oh, he said he wished he were free to marry her, and that he wished he hadn't sworn before he'd met her. But all the same, he said he wasn't free to marry her just then. He said something stupid to her, about no matter how willing the horse, it can only wear one saddle. So she told him, well, go off, then, go follow this lord who's more important to you than I am. And he did. Just as you would, if I told you that you had to choose." There were two spots of high color on her cheeks. She tossed her head as she turned her back on me.

    So there was the connection to my fault. But my mind was reeling as bits and pieces of stories and comments suddenly fell into place. Burrich's tale of first meeting Patience. She'd been sitting in an apple tree, and she'd demanded that he take a splinter out of her foot. Scarcely something a woman would ask of her lord's man. But something a direct young maid might ask of a young man who had caught her eye. And his reaction the night I had spoken to him about Molly and Patience, and repeated Patience's words about horses and saddles.

    "Did Chivalry know anything of all this?" I asked.

    Molly spun about to consider me. It was obviously not the question she had expected me to ask. But she couldn't resist finishing the story either. "No. Not at first. When Patience first came to know him, she had no idea he was Burrich's master. Burrich had never told her what lord he was sworn to. At first Patience would have nothing to do with Chivalry. Burrich still held her heart, you see. But Chivalry was stubborn. From what Lacey says, he loved her to distraction. He won her heart. It wasn't until after she had said yes, she'd marry him, that she found out he was Burrich's master. And only because Chivalry sent Burrich to deliver a special horse to her."

    I suddenly remembered Burrich in the stable, looking at Patience's mount and saying, "I trained that horse." I wondered if he'd trained Silk, knowing she was to go to a woman he'd loved, as a gift from the man she'd marry. I'd bet it was so. I had always thought that Patience's disdain for Burrich was a sort of jealousy that Chivalry could care so much for him. Now the triangle was an even stranger one. And infinitely more painful. I closed my eyes and shook my head at the unfairness of the world. "Nothing is ever simple and good," I said to myself. "There is always a bitter peel, a sour pip somewhere."

    "Yes." Molly's anger seemed suddenly spent. She sat down on the bedside, and when I went and sat beside her, she didn't push me away. I took her hand and held it. A thousand thoughts cluttered my mind. How Patience hated Burrich's drinking. How Burrich had recalled her lapdog, and how she always carried it about in a basket. The care he always took with his own appearance and behavior. "Just because you cannot see a woman does not mean she does not see you." Oh, Burrich. The extra time he still took, grooming a horse that she seldom rode anymore. At least Patience had had a marriage to a man she loved, and some years of happiness, complicated as they were by political intrigues. But some years of happiness, anyway. What would Molly and I ever have? Only what Burrich had now?

    She leaned against me and I held her for a long time. That was all. But somehow in that melancholy holding that night, we were closer than we had been for a very long time.